Moms Need Friends, Too

B&W Photo of Females Walking Away

If you are fortunate, you have a few good friends. Sometimes you hit the jackpot and are blessed with a group of them – a friend consortium.

We moved to our home months before my son was born and a year later I was struggling to find friends. I had joined a few playgroups for my older daughter, but neither she nor I hit it off with our new playmates. Then her second year in preschool began. When I walked her into class, I made small talk with other moms, particularly the ones who also had younger toddlers in tow. A few months into the school year, one of these moms invited me to a playgroup at her home, where a few women with little ones hung out while their older children were in preschool.

I said yes, and my Playgroup was born. It began as an actual playgroup, with a half dozen moms and toddlers getting together once a week. Those few hours were precious, when I could be with people who weren’t looking for a pacifier, a diaper change, or a cookie. Those toddlers grew and followed their siblings to preschool, and Playgroup continued. I liked these women – they were mommy friends who made the swirling vortex of early motherhood less lonely.

Then those toddlers became kindergartners, and Playgroup became adult-only, save for the two babies that a couple of moms still had at home. Now those babies are almost nine years old, and the oldest are high school seniors. For over a decade these women have been my confidantes, my sounding board, my cheerleaders, my voices of reason. They are my role models, and each woman brings her individual flair to the group. Wit, sarcasm, generosity, compassion, knowledge – we all have these traits in varying degrees, but our consortium makes us stronger than the sum of our parts.

I met my Playgroup because of my kids; we were young moms looking for others like us. But I became friends with them – I love them – because of who they are and how they enrich my life.

Dana is the moderately snarky, and occasionally witty author of Kiss my List. She’s a planner, project doer, mom and wife, (and therefore) coffee drinker and chocolate eater.———————————————————————————————————————————————————————
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  1. I had a playgorup too when my kids were babies and many of those moms continue to be my best friends. It’s a win win. I am so glad you had this experience as well.

    • Me too, Ilene. There are plenty of friendships that just fizzle out once the kids grow apart, but this group of women has become so important to me!

  2. Lucky mama, I haven’t found my Playgroup yet. I keep hoping some day, but I don’t usually click with the other moms when I try them out so I don’t go back. I think sometimes it’s because I say I’m a psychologist and nobody wants to talk to me anymore (even though I’m not a therapist but they don’t get that).

    • I’m sorry you haven’t found your group yet, Liz. Your kids are still young (I peeked at your blog), though, so don’t give up hope. The fact that you’re a psychologist wouldn’t turn me off, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Keep looking! I also made some good friends when my kids started elementary school – and I became friends with them because I liked them, not because our kids had playdates.

  3. Working full time always made playgroups difficult for me, but I found my amazing friend Julie through volunteering for church. She and I both work and have husbands with time consuming jobs, so it works for us to get together at odd times. I don’t know what I would do without her!

    • I’m so glad you found her, Rabia! Having a friend who has a similar schedule really helps – you and Julie face the same challenges in finding time to connect, so you make it work.

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